Dear friends,
Need a quick shot of confidence? Maybe you’re in a new or difficult situation, like asking the boss for a raise or a party where you don’t know anyone. In any case, people often lack confidence in situations where having it could be the difference between success and failure.
One technique for building confidence in these kind of situations is called acting ‘As If’. More than just pretending or faking confidence in a scary situation, acting ‘As If’ is a complete process and can be used to build confidence in areas of your life where it is lacking. Here’s how it works:
First, recognize that there are areas of your life where you do, in fact, have a lot of confidence, remember a specific time in your past where you were doing or saying something with confidence. It doesn’t have to be a particularly serious or challenging moment, just pick the first thing that comes to mind.
Next, let your body go back to that moment where you had lots of confidence. Give your whole self fully to that moment, remembering what your body felt like. Pay attention to three specific things when you do this:
• Your Posture : How do you hold your body when you’re feeling confident? Fully feel your posture while you’re remembering, and move around in your confident body.
• Your Gestures : What sort of gestures do you let your body make when you’re very confident? Do you move your hands forcefully, or gently? Do you even make gestures at all? Remember that time and let your body gesture (or not) at it normally would in that moment.
• Your Voice : What does your voice sound like when you’re supremely confident? Focus not so much on what you said in that moment, but what your voice sounds like. Remember the tone of voice (volume, pitch, and speed) and speak with that same confident tone here and now.
So, now that you’re fully living and breathing that moment of confidence, and focused on your posture, gestures and tone of voice, slowly allow yourself to visualize the new situation. Relax and take a deep breath. Do this slowly, so that you can bring your confident self into the new environment. Notice what your voice sounds like as you ask your boss for that raise, notice your posture and gestures (or lack of) as you speak to those new people at the party.
Keep focusing on the 3 key areas as you visualize, and if you feel your confidence starting to fade too much, allow yourself to go back to the old situation again to refocus.
Do this slowly at first, back and forth in your mind’s eye between the confident situation, and bringing that confident you into what is now becoming a less and less challenging environment. After a bit of practice, you’ll be able to feel completely confident in your visualization of the upcoming event. Continue this exercise every night before you go to sleep for at least 3 weeks, and you’ll find confidence creeping into your life in situations you never expected.
Yours Truly,
Tony Chai
P.S. Want To Get More Sales? Want To Impress Him Or Her In Your First Date? Want To Get A Raise? Then You Need To Become An Expert Persuader - FAST!!
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Don't Ever Short Change Your Life By This!
Dear friends,
If you truly wish to be successful in life and in your business then it is important to have a sense of your own value. We tend to dismiss or take for granted the many successful achievements throughout our lives. Graduating from high school, buying a house or raising a child all require a degree of skills and discipline, yet we never really think about those sorts of achievements and how they might have made us a better person or someone who others look up to.
Recognition of these sorts of achievements is important to help build our self confidence. A lack of self confidence or self worth is one of the major dream killers. You may have wanted to be a pilot but decided against taking lessons because you thought that it might get a bit scary up there. Perhaps you wanted to be a doctor or a lawyer but you didn't end up going to college because your family members told you "no-one in our family has ever been a doctor or a lawyer". Some people might take a statement like that as a challenge, but many would also see it as an indication that their family and friends don't believe in them... and would give up on that dream.
You need to put other peoples opinions and influences aside and think about what you have already achieved in your life and what you would like to achieve in the future. Consider that there have probably been many people who had exactly the same hopes or goals as you have, and many of them achieved those goals. If those people didn't honestly believe that they could achieve everything that they set out to accomplish then they most likely would have failed. Common sense tells us that if you don't believe you can leap over a fence then there's a very good chance that you are going to hit that fence fairly hard and end up in a crumpled heap.
Professional sports people are an excellent example of what can be achieved with self belief and hard work. You don't get to the top of your sport by constantly telling yourself "I'll never be the best". When Muhammad Ali loudly proclaimed "I am the greatest" he wasn't just giving lip service to self confidence - he genuinely believed he was the greatest boxer on the planet. Most athletes who compete at the Olympic Games are there because at some point they realized that they had become good enough at their sport to compete amongst the best athletes in the world. They realized their potential and set about a plan of action to take them to that pinnacle.
Your capability to achieve whatever you desire lies within. Most of the barriers that are placed in the way of a good goal or dream are usually put there by our own minds or by people who have no real interest in whether you succeed or not. Some of them may even be envious of your enthusiasm and positive outlook. As the great business philosopher and personal development speaker Jim Rohn once said - "The few who DO are the envy of the many who watch".
I Put It To The Test... It's Really Pretty Easy!
To Your Success,
Tony Chai
If you truly wish to be successful in life and in your business then it is important to have a sense of your own value. We tend to dismiss or take for granted the many successful achievements throughout our lives. Graduating from high school, buying a house or raising a child all require a degree of skills and discipline, yet we never really think about those sorts of achievements and how they might have made us a better person or someone who others look up to.
Recognition of these sorts of achievements is important to help build our self confidence. A lack of self confidence or self worth is one of the major dream killers. You may have wanted to be a pilot but decided against taking lessons because you thought that it might get a bit scary up there. Perhaps you wanted to be a doctor or a lawyer but you didn't end up going to college because your family members told you "no-one in our family has ever been a doctor or a lawyer". Some people might take a statement like that as a challenge, but many would also see it as an indication that their family and friends don't believe in them... and would give up on that dream.
You need to put other peoples opinions and influences aside and think about what you have already achieved in your life and what you would like to achieve in the future. Consider that there have probably been many people who had exactly the same hopes or goals as you have, and many of them achieved those goals. If those people didn't honestly believe that they could achieve everything that they set out to accomplish then they most likely would have failed. Common sense tells us that if you don't believe you can leap over a fence then there's a very good chance that you are going to hit that fence fairly hard and end up in a crumpled heap.
Professional sports people are an excellent example of what can be achieved with self belief and hard work. You don't get to the top of your sport by constantly telling yourself "I'll never be the best". When Muhammad Ali loudly proclaimed "I am the greatest" he wasn't just giving lip service to self confidence - he genuinely believed he was the greatest boxer on the planet. Most athletes who compete at the Olympic Games are there because at some point they realized that they had become good enough at their sport to compete amongst the best athletes in the world. They realized their potential and set about a plan of action to take them to that pinnacle.
Your capability to achieve whatever you desire lies within. Most of the barriers that are placed in the way of a good goal or dream are usually put there by our own minds or by people who have no real interest in whether you succeed or not. Some of them may even be envious of your enthusiasm and positive outlook. As the great business philosopher and personal development speaker Jim Rohn once said - "The few who DO are the envy of the many who watch".
I Put It To The Test... It's Really Pretty Easy!
To Your Success,
Tony Chai
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